Overcoming Psychological Weakness
If we look back on our lives, and consider our most difficult moments, we will see that psychological weakness was often at the center of the problem. Consider for a moment several ways that we might express such weakness:
- A business executive is afraid to stand up to an abusive partner.
- A wife is afraid to speak up, fearing the wrath of her husband.
- A parent has no control over his or her children.
- A business owner does not make the effort to collect money due, fearful that he might lose the customer's future business.
- An overbearing boss abuses a shrinking subordinate.
- A child is unable to stand up to a bully in the playground
Our inability to exercise our psychological strength is one of the great human failings of life. It not only leads to ongoing difficulties, but can also lead to tragedy. For example, we know that the nations of Europe could not muster the strength to stand up to fascism when it was on the rise before World War II, leading to the death of over sixty million people. In Shakespeare's Hamlet, we see how the prince could not marshal the strength to act, even though he knew the identity of his father's killer. As a result, he, and those he loved, paid the ultimate price.
In a similar fashion, we too have paid the price along the way because of our inability to be strong. If we think back on our lives, we can probably recall at least one instance where we felt helpless, vulnerable, and powerless; or otherwise did not have the strength to meet life's circumstances and conditions. As a result, we suffered, and, sometimes, others suffered as well.
Hopefully, we have learned from such experiences, and now exhibit the toughness, courage, and fortitude to stand up to life. If not, then we are likely to repeat the same mistakes, even if they express in new forms. For example, if in the past you did not have the strength to stand up to an abusive boss, today you will be under the thumb of an abusive spouse or relative.
One particularly interesting observation I have had along the way is that the very best of people -- i.e. those who are pleasant, considerate, generous, and self-giving -- are sometimes those who suffer the most. That is the case because they have never developed the necessary inner strength to cope with the pressures and vicissitudes of life. Though their kindness, sympathy, and benevolence have created conditions for fulfillment and success, their psychological weakness has created openings for difficulty, pain, and suffering.
Perhaps you have watched an old gangster film where the mother of a criminal cowers before her son and his violent behavior. On the one hand, we watch in sympathy as the loving parent showers him with love and affection, while, on the other, we recoil at her inability to stand up to her child's ruthless behavior. In this way, we see that even selflessness, self-givingness, and unconditional love cannot stand up to meanness, cruelty, and brutality when inner strength and toughness are missing. Recall that even Jesus Christ himself -- who represented ultimate Goodness and offered the world unconditional Love -- lacked the strength and power to overcome those who sought to destroy him.
Fortunately, that does not have to be our fate, for each of us have the capacity to overcome psychological weakness and replace it with inner strength. If we understand the variety of ways we have expressed our helplessness, powerlessness, and vulnerability in the past, and then take steps to reverse ourselves in the present, we will attract positive conditions from life. Consider this true incident:
A software company in California arranged with an agency to build a prototype program for a third, much larger company. The firm worked for months on the model, but foolishly never agreed to compensation, fearing that by raising the issue, they would jeopardize losing their long-term involvement in the project. After much hand wringing, the owner finally mustered the strength to discuss compensation with the agent. When he did so, not only did he resolve the future status of the project, but an excruciating six-month neck pain suddenly disappeared!
Standing up to a Partner
Over the years, I have been privy to a number of instances of "life response" that came as a result of shifting from psychological weakness to strength. These crossed a wide spectrum of human activity -- from the sports world, to the world of politics and business.
For example, a friend of ours who runs a $17 million chain of retail stores had a partner who was difficult, outspoken, and crude. Though our friend was conscientious and good willed, he lacked inner toughness. One day he realized that what he himself lacked, the partner had in spades -- strength. And so he began to examine his attitudes, and then made the commitment to overcome his weakness. In fact, the very first action he took was to stand up to his partner! Not only did the partner immediately stop his offensive behavior, but he began to cower before our once-weak friend! In addition, a flood of good news began occurring in the company!
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